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Food Fail

For the record, slow cooker meatloaf? Not so much.

I talked to my mother on the phone at lunch yesterday and when I told her I was making slow cooker meatloaf, her comment to me was something along the lines of "...umm, but how are you gonna drain the grease from it? I don't think you can cook meatloaf in something that doesn't drain, cuz then it just sits in the grease all day..."

And of course I went "pfft, what do you know motherperson, you hate cooking with a fiery passion! Obviously it's supposed to cook in its own grease! A random person posting a recipe on teh interwebz would never steer me wrong!"

This is a lesson, children- always listen to your mother.

Landlady called at 430 to tell me she'd checked on my food and that it smelled delicious! I got home at 6 and OMGYES, it smelled AMAZING. Sadly, that's all that was amazing about it.

The potatoes and carrots had been simmering in grease for ten hours, and were a gross brownish colour with a disgusting, slimy texture- I ate like three and felt my arteries hardening. The meatloaf itself was heavy and bland.

Of course, being a fair-minded person, I figured that like many foods, this was probably one that tasted better the second day, and my whole reason for making it was so I could have it for lunches for the rest of the week, so this morning when I got up I was pretty stoked it would have aged well. Wow, was I wrong.

The meatloaf was a brick of congealed fat- I couldn't even use normal force to cut through it, I had to put my elbow grease into it! And the potatoes and carrots were totally inedible, sitting in this puddle, no lie, a puddle of white fat on the plate I'd put them on. Fat that broke off into these long gross chards of white grossness when I poked at the veggies.

Ugh, not cool! Hopefully making chicken stir-fry for Tower tonight, maybe that can take away the bad memories of the meatloaf fail. This is the first recipe I've done that hasn't been good, so I'm a bit disappointed!


Aug. 31st, 2011 03:13 pm (UTC)
omg that makes so much sense! You're a genius! Why didn't this recipe tell me that?!?!? It was my first time ever using a slow cooker, I didn't know I needed a meat rack! *headdesk*

Yeaaaaah, next time I'll definitely do it in the oven and make it the night before! I'll stick to pot roast for the slow cooker lol!
Aug. 31st, 2011 10:00 pm (UTC)
Remind me to tell you about my baked beans slow cooker food poisoning adventure. (Otherwise known as the reason I Do Not Trust Them, because it was so not my fault.)

I grew some beans. I ignored the beans. They became dried withered husks. I went "Hooray! This must be where dried beans come from" and cooked the beans and ignored the beans till they became grey sludge in a the fridge a week later, when I decided to make baked beans with bacon in a slow cooker.

I cooked the bacon but not the bacon bones and combined the beans and other bits in the slow cooker.

And then stood there picking bits of bacon off the bones and beans out of the pot because once things are in the pot, they are cooked!

...and then I got very ill and now I don't trust slow cookers.
Sep. 1st, 2011 01:26 am (UTC)
You don't think perhaps leaving them to turn into grey sludge was when the food poisoning set in? ;)
Sep. 1st, 2011 01:27 am (UTC)
NO. It was the slow cooker! YOU CANNOT TRUST THEM.
Sep. 1st, 2011 01:32 am (UTC)
Uh-huh. Suuuuure it was. ;P
Sep. 1st, 2011 01:33 pm (UTC)
lol or the uncooked bacon bones? ;)
Sep. 1st, 2011 01:33 pm (UTC)
omg that's a totally evil slow cooker you have there! You totally can't trust it!